IMing With Twilight
by Kristin Rey
Summary: I know that there are a lot of other ones, but my friend and I thought we'd give it a shot. Let the craziness ensue! Don't be daunted by the number of chapters, please. You can pick random ones and it will all make sense.
1. The Username Reference List

**_IM-ing with Twilight_**

**Cullens:**

iluvbellasblood Edward

sparklesrule Alice

machoman Emmett

dropdeadgorgeous Rosalie

ihealUlikegod Carlisle

babykiller Esme

emovampire Jasper

**Quilletes:**

iluvbella Jacob

wolfboy Griffin

**Swans:**

vampgirl Bella

awesomepoliceman Charlie

**American Vampires:**

bigredhead Victoria

ireallyluvbellasblood James

**Humans:**

iluvedward Jessica

iluveedwardMORE Lauren

sexycupid Mike

quietandsweet Angela

angelasbiggestfan Ben

igelmyhair2much Eric

2good4U Tyler

**Volturi:**

estaticemperor Aro

servant2aro Caius

suckup Marcus

**Authors:**

retardsattemptingpoetry Kristin

awesomeretard:D Skylaar

selfabsorbedbitch Elizabeth

thechosen1 Catherine


	2. Just Getting Warmed Up

Ch.1 James and Victoria

**iluvbella**: Bella? R U here?

**vampgirl**: Jake, do I have to tell you what's wrong with ur username?

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged on_

**iluvbella**: I think the bloodsucker did worse than me.

**vampgirl**: Edward, what is wrong with you? You love my blood?

**iluvbellasblood**: hello love. iluvbella was taken so I went with this. I do like that other one more so it's nothing to be offended about.

**iluvbella**: :-). hehehehehe...

**vampgirl**: Shut it Jake.

**iluvbellasblood**: WHAT?!? JACOB IS ILUVBELLA??? ---- -------- ----- you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**iluvbella**: Jealous, bloodsucker? you should be.

_**awesomepoliceman**__ has logged on_

**awesomepoliceman**: Bella, I am burning macaroni. Can you help? Please?

**vampgirl**: dad, I am Angela's. sorry.

**iluvbella**: *coughs* Liar.

**iluvbellasblood**: you know, dog, that is really rude.

**awesomepoliceman**: Hey, I won't have fighting while I am online. Please come home Bella, I think that the cheese is on fire.

_**awesomepoliceman**__ has logged off to put out cheese fire_

_**ireallyluvbellasblood**__ has logged on_

**vampgirl**: gee, wonder who that is. Why don't you guys just PUT ME ON A T-SHIRT.

**ireallyluvbellasblood**: Bella, Edward. Dog.

**iluvbellasblood**: um... excuse me but who are you?

**iluvbella**: I'm pretty offended by the DOG comment actually...

_**bigredhead**__ has secretly logged on_

_**sparklesrule**__ has logged on_

_**dropdeadgorgeous**__ has logged on_

**sparklesrule**: Hey Bella! Hey Edward! Hey Stranger! Dog.

**iluvbella**: Okay... NOW I'm just getting ticked off...

**dropdeadgorgeous**: Gawd, who invited the mutt?

**iluvbella**: ONE MORE DOG COMMENT AND I'LL-

**iluvbellasblood**: oh, go chase a cat.

**vampgirl**: EDWARD!!!

_**iluvbella**__ has logged off to go sulk_

**ireallyluvbellasblood**: Um... excuse me but I AM still here.

**sparklesrule**: yeah, who are you anyway?

**ireallyluvbellasblood**: *smiles wickedly* James, of course.

**bigredhead**: and Victoria.

_**vamp girl **__has logged off due to presence of mortal enemies_

**iluvbellasblood**: CRAP, James.

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged off to go comfort life partner_

_**ireallyluvbellasblood**__ has logged off to kick Cullen butt_

_**bigredhead**__ has logged off to go and bet on James_


	3. Jasper and Mike Clash

Ch. 2, Fights

_**sparklesrule**__ has logged on_

_**dropdeadgorgeous**__ has logged on_

_**machoman**__ had logged on_

_**sexycupid**__ has logged on_

_**emovampire**__ has logged on_

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged on_

_**quietandsweet**__ has logged on_

**machoman**: jfl#dea5oinv(bndf!h9n

**sparklesrule**: Huh?

**dropdeadgorgeous**: Emmett's...intoxicated... don't ask. Seriously.

_**machoman**__ has logged off to go and nap_

_**dropdeadgorgeous**__ has logged off to take advantage of intoxication_

**sexycupid**: So... Liz... how ya doing??? I love you I mean... uhh... ummmm...

**selfabsorbedbitch**: Naughty boy, Jessica is going to catch you. *winks*

**emovampire**: I like how you talk, Liz

**selfabsorbedbitch**: ...

**sparklesrule**: you freaking vampire!!

_**sparklesrule**__ has logged off to weep for a few decades_

**quietandsweet**: what?!? VAMPIRES???

_**quietandsweet**__ has logged off screaming for mercy_

**selfabsorbedbitch**: whoa, who wuz that?

**emovampire**: who cares?

**sexycupid**: it wuz angela, I think

**emovampire**: apparently he does. come on over Liz, I'll show you around. *grins to self*

**sexycupid**: She's not goin' anywhere with YOU, Cullen.

**emovampire**: wanna bet, NEWTON?

**selfabsorbedbitch**: um, guys?

**sexycupid**: she likes me WAY more than she'll ever like YOU!

**emovampire**: HAH!

**selfabsorbedbitch**: GUYS?

**emovampire**: I bet she'd rather DIE than kiss a wart like YOU!

**sexycupid**: it's got to better than kissing a ROCK!

**selfabsorbedbitch**: GUYS!!! You DO know you two are dating, right?

**emovampire**: Oh, YEAH? Well I have a **sports car**!

**sexycupid**:____________

**emovampire**: Speechless, BOY? Come over to my house, Liz, and we'll drop him like week old mushu pork!

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged off to avoid certain temptation and now fighting guys_


	4. Creepy Stalkers

Ch. 3, Creepy Stalkers

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged on_

_**iluvedward**__ has logged on_

_**iluveedwardMORE**__ has logged on_

**iluvedward**: Hey Lauren.

**iluveedwardMORE**: Hey Jess.

**iluvbellasblood**: Bella? Are you here?

**iluvedward**: OH-

**iluveedwardMORE**: MY-

**iluvedward**: GOD!!!!!!!

**iluveedwardMORE**: GOD!!!!!!!

**iluvedward**: *hyperventilating* Are...you... EDWARD CULLEN???

**iluvbellasblood**: um, yeah?

**iluveedwardMORE**: I LOVE YOU!!!!

**iluvedward**: I LOVE YOU MORE!!!!

**iluveedwardMORE**: I'm outside of your house!!! *sighs*

**iluvedward**: I have a toy Volvo with you inside of it!!!!!

**iluveedwardMORE**: I have an Edward SHRINE in my room!!!!!!!

**iluvbellasblood**: ummmm... G2G

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged out to avoid certain creepy stalkers_

**iluvedward**: I GROVEL AT YOUR FEET!!!!!!!!!!!

**iluveedwardMORE**: I WORSHIP YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. Revenge is Beautiful

Ch. 4 Revenge is Beautiful

_**iluvbellasblood **__has logged on_

_**vampgirl**__ has logged on_

_**machoman**__ has logged on_

_**dropdeadgorgeous**__ has logged on_

_**sparklesrule**__ has logged on_

_**retardsattemptingpoetry**__ has logged on_

_**babykiller**__ has logged on_

**iluvbellasblood**: OK, evry1 here?

**machoman**: yup

**sparklesrule**: yeah

**dropdeadgorgeous**: unfortunately.

**vampgirl**: yes.

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: *sighs* yes.

**sparklesrule**: Whoa, who invited Kristin?

**vampgirl**: *smiles* me. :D

**iluvbellasblood**: Okay people, focus. Alice? Take it away.

**sparklesrule**: Jasper is getting seriously annoying. Always messing with our moods... just yesterday he got me all warm and fuzzy to spill all my secrets...UUUGGGHHHH!!!

I say we get him in trouble with Carlisle.

**babykiller**: Brilliant! But how...

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: ummmm, excuse me. I have an idea. This... Jasper... has the ability to affect the moods of people around him, right?

**dropdeadgorgeous**: who cares?

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: am I right?

**iluvbellasblood**: OH MY GOSH! KRISTIN YOU ARE A GENIUS!!!

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: You sound surprised. I am insulted.

**vampgirl**: what did she say... EDWARD?!?

**machoman**: yeah, what did she say?

**sparklesrule**: you know, that could actually work.

**dropdeadgorgeous**: OMG I'm leaving!!!

_**dropdeadgorgeous**__ has logged out to shampoo and condition long blonde hair_

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: I'll admit it. STOP POKING ME ESME I AM SAYING IT. Esme is next to me on her laptop. It was kinda her idea.

**babykiller**: she right actually, but she took credit and I wasn't about to say she was lying.

**iluvbellasblood**: who cares who's idea it was, it's brilliant

**vampgirl**: WHAT-FREAKING-IDEA

**babykiller**: Okay, so I am in the kitchen, in full view of Carlisle,

**iluvbellasblood**: and Emmett comes in like he's in love with Esme, as though he is under Jaspers influence.

**sparklesrule**: You know, rubbing her shoulders and kissing her neck and stuff

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: and Carlisle freaks!

**sparklesrule**: Yay!

**vampgirl**: Brilliant!

A little while later...

**vampgirl**: Oh, hi Carlisle.

**ihealUlikegod**: Oh, hello Bella. Have you seen Jasper anywhere?

**vampgirl**: No, why?

**ihealUlikegod**: Oh nothing...


	6. Love Notes and Secret Admirers

Ch. 5 Love Notes and Admirers

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged on_

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged on_

**iluvbellasblood**: Liz. I don't believe we've met.

**selfabsorbedbitch**: OF COURSE we've met. I mean, I am one of the authors. Now- where's Kris? She stole my lotion.

**iluvbellasblood**: I dunno. Where's Bella?

**selfabsorbedbitch**: Ummmm... last time I saw her; she was scribbling something down all over a picture of you.

**iluvbellasblood**: Awwww... she's probably writing love notes!

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged off to go find Bella_

**selfabsorbedbitch**: *cackles* what he doesn't know: they were from the newspaper article "Top Ten things you H8 about UR boyfriend,"

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged off to go make someone miserable_

_**quietandsweet**__ has logged on_

**quietandsweet**: Hello?

**quietandsweet**: CALLING BELLA!

_**vampgirl**__ has logged on_

**vampgirl**: What?

**quietandsweet**: Where were you?

**vampgirl**: With Edward.

**vampgirl: **I mean... thinking I am with Edward.

**quietandsweet**: O.M.G.... is he... ummmm.... _SLEEPING OVER_? It IS midnight, you know.

**vampgirl**: EW! Not in that way! Charlie knows... sort of.

**quietandsweet**: Fine. so what the answer to #2 on Jackson's quiz?

_**quietandsweet**__ has logged off to contemplate cheating on a major quiz_

_**vampgirl**__ has logged off to contemplate cheating on a major quiz_

_**retardsattemptingpoetry**__ has logged on_

_**servant2aro **__has logged on_

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: I am getting sick of watching Liz and Marcus slobber all over each other- honestly! Some dignity, please.

**servant2aro**: yes, quite. But I got to thinking, what is your favorite flavor of lip gloss?

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: Ummmm.... cherry. Why?

**servant2aro**: No reason. Do you prefer bombs or knives or teeth?

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: You are freaking me out, dude. I like knives. And one more thing- I like the Mcgure comb.

**servant2aro**: how... did you read my mind?

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: Of course not. That's Edwards job. I simply guessed.

**servant2aro**: I kinda wish you preferred teeth.

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: for my hair? no way!!!

_**retardsattemptingpoetry**__ has logged off to do her hair and freak out about the teeth remark_

_**servant2aro**__ has logged off to buy cherry lip gloss and an Italian gold knife and a Mcgure comb. (and MAYBE some roses)_


	7. Liz and Marcus, sitting in a tree pt 1

Ch. 6 Marcus and Liz, sitting in a tree

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged on_

_**babykiller**__ has logged on_

_**awesomeretard:D**__ has logged on_

_**suckup**__ has logged on _

**babykiller**: hey Liz, Skylaar, and...?

**suckup**: ...nobody in particular.

**selfabsorbedbitch**: Oh, hey Esme! Okay, so get this. I was totally wandering Barnes and Nobles when this totally and completely hot guy-

**awesomeretard:D** : Shut it, Liz. Nobody wants to know.

**suckup**: Maybe _I _do.

**awesomeretard:D**: ...

**babykiller**: ...

**selfabsorbedbitch**: Am I missing something here?

**babykiller**: Yes...

**awesomeretard:D**: Dunno. It depends if you like creeps.

**suckup**: Hey!

**selfabsorbedbitch**: They're the very best kind of admirer! So... suckup... what do you do for a living?

**suckup**: Kill innocent people.

**selfabsorbedbitch**: That's hot. You wanna grab a latte at the local coffee shop?

**suckup**: Sure... *grins evilly*

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged off to go reapply makeup_

_**suckup**__ has logged off to go enjoy a meal_

**babykiller**: who was THAT?!?

**awesomeretard:D**: *checks list* Oh... just Marcus. Wait... MARUS? Of the VOLTURI?

**babykiller**: That can't be right...

_**awesomeretard:D**__ has logged off to go save Liz_

_**babykiller**__ has logged off _

**The next day...**

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged on_

_**suckup**__ has logged on_

_**retardsattemptingpoetry**__ has logged on_

_**servant2aro **__has logged on_

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: I heard about your hot date, Liz. Who was it, after all? No on told me...

**suckup**: It was me! The lucky fellow...

**servant2aro**: Oh god... please excuse my infatuated partner for a it. You see, he got kind of... carried away.

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: OMG, Liz! Are you a, a _vampire_?

**selfabsorbedbitch**: *sulking* I wish.

**suckup**: *sighs* Our date was wonderful but I'm afraid I had to leave partway through.

**selfabsorbedbitch**: Yea...

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: Why?

**suckup**: Liz kind of threw a tantrum...

**selfabsorbedbitch**: Did not!

**suckup**: ...because she saw a pair of gogo boots in the window of a closed shop. I told her "No, we can't break in because of the officer standing a meter away."

**selfabsorbedbitch**: *moping* You could have killed him...

**suckup**: sigh... too many complications...

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: ...wow...

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged off due to the price phobia of gogo boots_

_**suckup**__ has logged off to take a chunk of his huge fortune to spend on irresistible gogo boots_

_**retardsattemptingpoetry**__ blinks_

**servant2aro**: I apologize formally for him.

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: Don't even try, wise guy.

_**retardsattemptingpoetry **__has logged of to fume_

_**servant2aro **__has logged off to flirt with Kristin_


	8. I Love You, Carlisle

**Ch. 8 "I love you..."**

_**babykiller**__ has logged on_

_**ihealUlikegod**__ has logged on_

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has secretly logged on_

_**sparklesrule**__ has secretly logged on_

_**machoman**__ has secretly logged on_

_**dropdeadgorgeous**__ has secretly logged on_

_**emovampire**__ has secretly logged on_

**ihealUlikegod**: Esme, I love you.

**babykiller**: Carlisle, I love you.

**ihealUlikegod**: You are as precious as a stethescope...

**babykiller**: ...as darling as a pacifier...

**ihealUlikegod**: ...as precious as my blood bank...

**babykiller**: ... as loving as a baby.

**ihealUlikegod**: I love you more than my existence...

**babykiller**: I love you more than--

**sparklesrule**: EWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!

**ihealUlikegod**: Alice!

**emovampire**: What did she say????

**babykiller**: Jasper?

**dropdeadgorgeous**: C'mon Alice, what was she going to say????

**ihealUlikegod**: Rosalie?!?

**babykiller**: Edward and Emmett, you are on here too, aren't you.

**iluvbellasblood**: *sighs* yeah...

**machoman**: ... nooo....

**ihealUlikegod**: ha ha ha Emmett.

**babykiller**: *weeps quietly out of embarrassment and disappointment*

**sparklesrule**: what was it again... oh yeah. "You are as precious as a stethescope"

**iluvbellasblood**: "as darling as a pacifier"

**dropdeadgorgeous**: *dies laughing*

**machoman**: *howls with laughter*

**emovampire**: "I luv you more than my existence"

**iluvbellasblood**: *laughs*

**sparklesrule**: *cracks up*

_**babykiller**__ has logged off due to extreme embarrassment_

_**ihealUlikegod**__ has logged off to retain composure_

_**sparklesrule**__ has logged off to drag Rosalie to the mall_

_**dropdeadgorgeous**__ had logged off to get dragged to the mall_

_**emovampire**__ has logged off laughing his head off_

_**machoman**__ has logged off trying to figure out what was so funny in the first place_

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged off to tell Bella what happened_


	9. Down With The Authors

Ch. 9 Down with the Authors

_**awesomeretard:D**__ has logged on_

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged on_

_**retardsattemptingpoetry**__ has logged on_

_**thechosen1**__ has logged on_

**thechosen1**: So, why did you call a meeting, Skylaar?

**awesomeretard:D**: I had a question...

**selfabsorbedbitch**: Oh great, a question! I screwed up my eyeliner for this stupid meeting!

**thechosen1**: God, don't lose your head, Liz.

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: Hey, why are you called "the chosen one", anyway?

**thechosen1**: *ominous voice* I AM the chosen one...

**awesomeretard:D**: ...

**awesomeretard:D**: So... my question is... if god gives me lemons, what should I do?

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: Get a new god.

**awesomeretard:D**: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: It really wasn't that funny...

**thechosen1**: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

**selfabsorbedbitch**: I'm hanging out with freaks. You use the lemons for body wash, stupid!

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged off to fix virtually invisible eyeliner malfunction_

_**thechosen1**__ has logged off to go terrorize a small group of superstitious locals_

_**retardsattemptingpoetry**__ has logged off to watch the fun_

_**awesomeretard:D**__ has logged off to go buy some lemons_


	10. Hamburgers and Mike Newton

Ch. 10 Hamburgers and Mike Newton

_**sparklesrule**__ had logged on_

_**babykiller**__ has logged on_

_**dropdeadgorgeous**__ had logged on_

_**iluvedward**__ had logged on_

_**vampgirl**__ had logged on_

_**iluveedwardMORE**__ has logged on_

**vampgirl**: Who invited the stalkers?

**iluvedward**: No one!

**iluveedwardMORE**: Us...

**dropdeadgorgeous**: *snarling* I did, you silly vapid--

**sparklesrule**: down, girl!

**dropdeadgorgeous**: I also invited my BFFL.

**babykiller**: WHO?

**dropdeadgorgeous**: Liz!

**sparklesrule**: Figures, two peas in a pod.

_**liz_luvs_bubbles**__ has logged on_

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Stop talking about me! 

**dropdeadgorgeous**: We weren't! At least not in that way...

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Okay, okay. But who called the meeting? Why aren't we invited?

**vampgirl**: I did. And, obviously, we knew that you would know about it.

**retardsattemptingpoetry** has logged on

**awesomeretard:D** has logged on

**sparklesrule**: duh.

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: Okay! So what is the problem?

**vampgirl**: Well...

**babykiller**: I believe that the topic of the conversation is hamburgers.

**sparklesrule**: ... even I didn't see that one coming...

**vampgirl**: Exactly!

**iluvedward**: Wow! *sarcastic* that's so fascinating!

**vampgirl**: That's it! You're done for!

_**vampgirl **__has logged off to kick stalker butt_

**babykiller: **5... 4... 3... 2... 1...

**iluvedward: **Ow!!!!

**iluveedwardMORE: **Hey!

_**iluvedward**__ has logged off wincing in pain_

_**iluveedwardMORE **__has logged off crying_

_**vampgirl **__has logged on_

**vampgirl: **So sorry... Esme, please continue.

**babykiller**: Yes.. anyways. we didn't invite the boys because, well, they're boys. They don't understand what a hamburger can do to your skin, or your health for that matter.

**vampgirl**: Um, Esme?

**babykiller**: Yeah?

**vampgirl**: ... you're a vampire.

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: No need to be rude, Bella.

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: Oh shut up. Where's lover boy anyway?

**selfabsorbedbitch**: *blushes*

**sparklesrule**: WE'RE TRYING TO HAVE A CONVERSATION HERE!

**dropdeadgorgeous**: Yeah. We've spent, like 20 minutes arguing. Get to the point Bella.

**vampgirl**: OK, so I'm mad at Edward.

**sparklesrule**: *stops and stares*

**vampgirl**: We were talking about random mushy stuff when Mike Newton got into the conversation.

**babykiller**: Mike #%$ing Newton?

**vampgirl**: Yes. Then-

**sparklesrule**: How does this involve hamburgers?

**vampgirl**: You'll see!  SO... Edward said I couldn't make Mike eat a rotten hamburger if I tried. I told him-

**dropdeadgorgeous**: WHAT? You realize that for Eddie's benefit!

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: Hoin gIniigaksnfg idoj

**vampgirl**: Excuse me?

**awesomeretard:D**: Her keyboard is messed up. You don't know what she meant.

**vampgirl**: Right. Anyway. I bet him that nice little Audi Coup he's been dying to get me. What he doesn't know is that I plan to crash it. *evil laughs!*

**babykiller: **Now, now Bella. I sincerely doubt that crashing a car will help you get even with Edward.

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has secretly logged on_

_**ihealUlikegod**__ has secretly logged on_

_**igelmyhair2much**__ has randomly logged on_

**vampgirl**: EW! Get OUT Eric. How'd you get invited to this chat?

**dropdeadgorgeous**: *snickers* Oily Boily.

**igelmyhair2much**: Shut up, freak. I came on to ask Bella for #2 on Jackson's quiz. Who's currently on anyway?

**sparklesrule**: Me!

**vampgirl**: Me.

**dropdeadgorgeous**: Me, stupid.

**babykiller**: Me.

**igelmyhair2much**: Wow, anyone else? I didn't realize I walked in on a meeting.

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Me, too!

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: Unfortunately, me.

**awesomeretard:D**: What about me?

**igelmyhair2much**: I gotta leave, catch you later Bells!

_**igelmyhair2much**__ has logged off in a flurry of confusion_

**vampgirl:** Tell you what, IMing is way too open. I'll call everyone with the plan.

_**sparklesrule **__has logged off to stalk her niece_

_**vampgirl**__ has logged off to find Mike Newton_

_**dropdeadgorgeous**__ has logged off to broadcast her new motto "Pink is the new Blonde"_

_**babykiller **__has logged off to watch _

_**liz_luvs_bubbles**__ has logged off to take Kristin shopping_

_**retardsattemptingpoetry **__has logged off to hide from Liz_

_**awesomeretard:D**__ has logged off to... well we don't really know_

**iluvbellasblood: **Dad, should I be worried about this "Mike Newton thing"?

**ihealUlikegod**: I really don't know. Is Liz involved?

**iluvbellasblood**: Yes..?

**ihealUlikegod**: You should totally be worried about this.

_**iluvedward**__ has logged on_

**iluvedward**: Hey...

**iluvbellasblood**: Oh crap.

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged off to hide_

_**iluvedward**__ has logged off crying... again_

_**sparklesrule **__has logged on_

_**vampgirl**__ has logged on_

**vampgirl**: All set?

**sparklesrule**: yeah.

**vampgirl**: Supplies?

**sparklesrule**: Rotten burger, Liz

**vampgirl**: How good are Liz's acting skills?

**sparklesrule**: Well...

_**liz_luvs_bubbles**__ has logged on_

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Where is my love, the -egad- Mike Newton? (sigh) so profound is my love *cough* hate *cough* that would I, if I could, sing a song *cough* over his dead body *****cough* ...

_**liz_luvs_bubbles**__ has logged off to write a hate song_

**vampgirl**: That was pretty good. But she should have said "Mikey" I think.

_**vampgirl**__ has logged off to ponder this_

_**sparklesrule**__ has logged off to tell Bella what conclusion she comes to_

**The Big Day Of Revenge**

_**vampgirl**__ has logged on_

_**awesomepoliceman **__has logged on_

_**bigredhead**__ has logged on_

_**sparklesrule **__has logged on_

_**igelmyhair2much**__ has logged on_

_**iluveedwardMORE**__ has logged on_

_**quietandsweet**__ has logged on_

_**iluvedward**__ has logged on_

_**machoman**__ has logged on_

_**ihealUlikegod**__ has logged on_

_**suckup**__ has logged on_

_**2good4U**__ has logged on_

_**angelasbiggestfan**__ has logged on_

_**estaticemperor**__ has logged on_

_**emovampire**__ has logged on_

_**thechosen1**__ has logged on_

_**babykiller**__ has logged on_

_**servant2aro**__ has logged on_

_**iluvbella**__ has logged on_

_**dropdeadgorgeous**__ has logged on_

_**ireallyluvbellasblood**__ has logged on_

**dropdeadgorgeous**: I hope this is worth watching.

**suckup**: I think so, but if Mike so much as blinks at Liz then I g2g.

**servant2aro**: Dude, 2 words: Anger Management.

**babykiller**: *blinks* Kids, that's not very appropriate-

**thechosen1**: Any good gossip?

**machoman**: Now we're getting somewhere!

**2good4U**: Random people.

**emovampire**: If Liz is dating Mike I'll kill-

**sparklesrule**: YOU LIKE LIZ?!?

**ihealUlikegod**: Calm down please.

**angelasbiggestfan**: Ooo... this will be interesting.

**bigredhead**: Bella, I'm going to get you!

**estaticemperor**: Has anyone noticed that Edward and The Authors aren't here?

**vampgirl**: My plan is working!

_**suckup**__ has logged off_

**ihealUlikegod**: Everyone please quiet down!

**iluvbella**: I get to talk to and see Liz in a year! *kissy kissy noises*

**emovampire**: SHUT IT DOG.

**awesomepoliceman**: Don't get rowdy boys, I've been promoted to online safety now.

**ireallyluvbellasblood**: *licks lips* maybe Bella's blood is in YOU, Charlie.

**awesomepoliceman**: WHY IS EVERYONE NAMED AFTER BELLA ON HERE???

**iluvedward**: Not everyone.

**iluveedwardMORE**: Edward! I want Edward NOW!

**servant2aro**: Where's Kris?

**vampgirl**: Lauren, do I have to kill you again?

**ihealUlikegod**: WILL EVERYONE SHUT UP? MIKE IS COMING!

_**sexycupid**__ has logged on_

**vampgirl**: Oh, hey Mike. It was getting lonely in here.

**sexycupid**: Awww... sorry I kept you waiting.

**vampgirl**: Oh well.

_**liz_luvs_bubbles**__ has logged on_

**vampgirl**: Oh, hey Liz. What's up with the username?

**sexycupid**: Hey Elizabeth.

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Heeeyyy Mikey. Bella, I'm changing it back when this is over.

**vampgirl**: OH NO! Charlie's burning soup- I g2g Mike. Sorry.

_**vampgirl**__ has logged off_

_**vampgirl**__ has secretly (and evilly) logged back on_

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Oh Mikey! I'm so sad! *sniffle*

**sexycupid**: *feeling very manly* Why is that Liz?

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: It's Edward!

**sexycupid**: Wha-

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: He said he was better than you, and I didn't believe him! WAAA!!!!

**sexycupid**: That's very mature of you but how exactly did he say he was better than me?

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: He said he had more guts than you because he could eat rotten hamburgers. And then he said I would never ever be allowed to go out with you if you didn't show him you could do it too!

**sexycupid**: So... I have to eat rotten hamburgers to go out with you?

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: *sniffle* Yeah... and I'm single! Can you believe it?

**sexycupid**: Ok! Hold on sweetie, I'll be right back.

_**sexycupid**__ has logged off to prove his manliness_

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Never. Again.

_**retardsattemptingpoetry**__ has logged on_

_**awesomeretard:D **__has logged on_

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: sorry we're late. Did we miss anything?

**vampgirl**: Only some really good acting.

**ihealUlikegod**: Nobody talk, we're waiting for Newton.

_**sexycupid**__ has logged on_

**sexycupid**: Ugh... Liz?

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Yeah?

**sexycupid**: I won't be going to school tomorrow...

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Why not?

**sexycupid**: Let's put it in short terms... I tried to save my butt after eating a *shudder* rotten hamburger. Eddie cracked up laughing of course, before mentioning there never WAS a deal and that you were playing me and now I'm sick to my stomach and in a foul mood.

_**suckup**__ has logged on_

**sexycupid**: So do you have anything to say?

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Yeah... last night was wonderful.

**sexycupid**: Uh... last night?

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: yeah! I had such a great time... you were amazing!

**sexycupid**: I don't remember-

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Don't be coy now. Do I need to go into detail?

**sexycupid**: Please don't. I need to go now. *getting very nervous*

**suckup**: *dangerous voice* Mike. Newton. What happened WITH MY GIRL LAST NIGHT?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?

**sexycupid**: Huh? Who are you? No-nothing happened, I swear! Oh god...

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Oh yeah! Mike, meet my boyfriend. Marcus!

**sexycupid**: That... b-big guy you were with?

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: The very same! *giggle*

_**sexycupid**__ has logged off to avoid wrath of bloodthirsty vampire_

_**suckup**__ has logged off to kick Newton butt_

**vampgirl**: Yes! *Evil grin*

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: Awesome!

**retardsattemptingpoetry**: Nw hwy in the world did you put poo Mike through asll that extra pain? And Liz, what's up with the username?

**liz_luvs_bubbles**: I'm changing it! Sheesh!!!

_**liz_luvs_bubbles**__ has logged off to change username back_

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged on _

**selfabsorbedbitch**: everyone happy now?

**babykiller**: OMG, that cute top on Ebay is finally free! Sorry guys, I g2g!!!!!

_**babykiller**__ has logged off to spend a pile of her husbands money on a cute Ebay top_

**ihealUlikegod**: Sigh... that's my cue.

_**ihealUlikegod**__ has logged off to hide his credit cards_

**dropdeadgorgeous**: NOW it's boring. I'm leaving this dump. C'mon, Liz.

_**dropdeadgorgeous**__ has logged off to shop_

_**selfabsorbedbitch**__ has logged off to shop_

_**retardsattemptingpoetry**__ has logged off to be dragged shopping_

**sparklesrule**: Hey Jazz.

**emovampire**: Hey Liz.

**sparklesrule**: Liz... LIZ??????

**emovampire**: Sorry, it slipped.

**sparklesrule**: *sighs* It's fine.

**emovampire**: Sorry. Do you want to virtually cuddle?

**sparklesrule**: I prefer reality.

**emovampire**: Sorry, honey, I'll be right there.

_**emovampire**__ has logged out for various reasons..._

_**sparklesrule**__ has logged out to... well... this is rated T, we can't say_


	11. Online Harrassment

**So sorry for no Authors Notes before. But my awesome and wonderful sis-tah wrote the Liz and Marcus chapter (based after herself of course, don't worry, my character will fall in love too) Hamburgers and Mike Newton, and this chapter. Go Elizabeth!!**

**-Kristin**

Ch. 11 Online Harrasment

_**vampgirl**__ has logged on_

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged on_

**vampgirl**: Oh, hey Edward.

**iluvbellasblood**: Hey sweetie. It feels like we never have time for ourselves now.

**vampgirl**: I know! *indignant*

**iluvbellasblood**: You're absolutely adorable when you're online.

**vampgirl**: You too, sweet cheeks.

**iluvbellasblood**: Sweet cheeks?

**vampgirl**: *big blush* Umm... I was reading a magazine, and it said-

**iluvbellasblood**: Well I love it. So cute and kinky! Did you happen, by any chance, to read something about guys to girls?

**vampgirl**: ...?

**iluvbellasblood**: I luv u!

**vampgirl**: I luv u more. *kisses*

**iluvbellasblood**: Not as much as I-

_**CissyQuackSaysHI**__ has logged on _

**vampgirl**: WTF?

**CissyQuackSaysHI**: Oooops... wrong server!

**vampgirl**: *snort* Duh.

**CissyQuackSaysHI**: Hi to you too freak. *reads usernames* What is this, the Twilight Zone?

**iluvbellasblood**: You'd be surprised. Now leave or we will have to seriously disgust you.

**CissyQuackSaysHI**: What? Are you two like, online strippers? Or sick perverts? Or, like, drug dealers? Something is seriously messed up here.

**vampgirl**: Hey, sissy QUACK, why don't you pick up your big fat bloated feather butt and move the f#% out?

**CissyQuackSaysHI**: How about I shove it up yours? Or better yet, pick my nose and fling chocolate covered boogers at you? Or maybe yell in a high pitched voice _Down with freedom! Love, Vampgirl and Bloodsucker_, or better yet, do the chicken dance butt naked in front of your house?

**iluvbellasblood**: How about you calmly shut the f#^ up before I destroy your computer with a raging hormonal, I mean, destroyful, um..... _fierce virus!!!!!!_

**CissyQuackSaysHI**: F!# you.

_**CissyQuackSaysHI**__ has logged off to go torment someone else_

**vampgirl**: Now where were we... baby I luv u!

_**prissyprincess**__ has logged on_

**iluvbellasblood**: Not as much as I luv u!

**prissyprincess**: *blush* Oooops... wrong server!

**vampgirl**: !#$% ^&*&(((* &^% ###$% ^&*() )(*^&^%$$ NOT AGAIN!!!!!

_**vampgirl**__ has logged off in a rage_

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged off to teach Bella some new expletives_

_**prissyprincess**__ has logged off blushing_

**emovampire**: *snigger*

_**emovampire**__ has logged off_


	12. Mike, Angela, and SuperSpy Ben

**Hi, it's me. Here's a short'n'sweet chapter from Lizzie... I smiled when I read it. Don't worry about updates... we've got 129 written pages of this crazy story and I'm only on page 46! Keep reading, and I'll keep posting.**

**-Kristin**

Ch. 12 Mike, Angela, and Super-spy Ben

_**sexycupid**__ has logged on_

_**quietandsweet**__ had logged on_

_**angelasbiggestfan**__ has logged on_

**sexycupid**: Hi.

**quietandsweet**: Oh, hey.

**sexycupid**: So I was thinking...

**quietandsweet**: ... that number 2 on Jackson's quiz was hard??? Yeah, me too!

**sexycupid**: No... actually. But, um... how would you like to get a cup of coffee?

**sexycupid**: As friends of course!

**quietandsweet**: No thx! Ben is taking me to another bad karate movie... I have to save my energy.

**angelasbiggestfan**: Aww... I'm sorry honey, I had no idea you didn't like them!

**sexycupid**: Uh- BEN?! OMG, Uh... I g2g!!!!!

_**sexycupid**__ has logged off to save his butt_

**angelasbiggestfan**: I luv u.

**quietandsweet**: Yea...


	13. Acne and Girls

**Hey. This is kind of a spin-off of the girls meeting... only with all boys instead of all girls. I will admit, Lizzie's chapter inspired me. So this is by ME, Kristin Rey. Enjoy!**

**-Kristin**

Acne and Girls

_**iluvbella**__ has logged on_

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged on_

_**machoman**__ has logged on_

_**sexycupid**__ has logged on_

_**angelasbiggestfan**__ has logged on_

_**igelmyhair2much**__ has logged on_

_**2good4u**__ has logged on_

_**emovampire**__ has logged on_

**sexycupid**: Hello boys.

**iluvbellasblood**: He's never meant that more literally.

**emovampire**: *snigger*

**2good4u**: Shut up.

**igelmyhair2much**: Do us all a favor.

**machoman**: hey now...

**iluvbella**: MOVING ON.

**iluvbellasblood**: Thx, mutt.

**iluvbella**: Not at all, leech.

**angelasbiggestfan**: Who called this meeting anyway?

**sexycupid**: Eric, I think.

**machoman**: Oh god, if you do exist...

**emovampire**: Mercy the lost souls!!!!!

**2good4u**: Spare us!!!!

**igelmyhair2much**: *coughs uncomfortably*... so some of you may have noticed that I have acne issues...

**iluvbella**: Oh, no...

**igelmyhair2much**: ... so I kinda need help. Zits... well... they don't help me achieve my goal.

**2good4u**: What goal?

**igelmyhair2much**: To be a ladies-man-slash-male-model.

**machoman**: *snickers*

**iluvbellasblood**: *rolls eyes* Sorry, I can't help it if some of us have perfect skin.

**emovampire**: *shrugs* He's right.

**machoman**: Sorry dude.

_**iluvbellasblood**__ has logged off_

_**emovampire **__has logged off_

_**machoman**__ has logged off_

**2good4u**: Well, there are a lot of at home remedies.

**igelmyhair2much**: Like what?

**angelasbiggestfan**: You can start by washing your face every once in a while.

**2good4u**: Shampoo + lemons.

**sexycupid**: Kiss a lot of girls.

**angelasbiggestfan**: ...

**2good4u**: ...

**igelmyhair2much**: ... um... okay...

**iluvbella**: That actually works, you know.

**2good4u**: You're too busy mooning after Bella... who have you kissed?

**iluvbella**: Lot's of girls. Jessica, Liz, Angela, Kristin, Lauren, Skylaar...

**igelmyhair2much**: You kissed Liz?

**iluvbella**: Yup.

**igelmyhair2much**: Have you seen her boyfriend? Dude, Marcus is freaking bigger than Emmett.

**iluvbella**: Crap- THAT GUY?!?!?

_**iluvbella**__ has logged off to escape wrath of Volturi_

_**angelasbiggestfan**__ has logged off to sulk about Angela kissing Jacob_

_**sexycupid**__ has logged off to yell at Jessica for kissing Jacob_

_**2good4u**__ has logged off to moon over Kristin_

_**igelmyhair2much**__ has logged off to kiss/get injured by Rosalie Cullen_


	14. Jasper's Attack

**Hey, sorry for the late update. Something was wrong with my account... :(. This is another Liz chapter... my chapter is next though. There is a surprisingly little twist at the end... but you'll have to find out what it is yourself. And I'm sorry for all the abuse that we put Eric through... and it only gets worse later on. **

Ch. 14, Jaspers Attack

_**babykiller**__ has logged on_

_**igelmyhair2much**__ has logged on_

**babykiller**: Heeeyyyyy... baby.

**igelmyhair2much**: Mrs. Cullen?!?

**babykiller**: Heeeeeeeeyyyyyyy baby.

**igelmyhair2much: **God forbid!

**babykiller**: I gave up on Carlisle. I want you, Eric Yorkie.

_**ihealUlikegod**__ has secretly logged on_

**igelmyhair2much**: I don't care how hot you are, Mrs. Cullen, I can't risk losing my balls.

**ihealUlikegod**: Damn right! Now. Go. Before. I. Explode.

_**igelmyhair2much**__ has logged off in fear_

**ihealUlikegod**: Esme, how could you? after all these happy years...

**babykiller**: Dad, it's Jasper. I stole Mom's account to play a prank on that loser. Sorry!

**ihealUlikegod**: YOU'RE JASPER?!?!?!?

**babykiller**: I'm going to my room. No need to tell me twice.

_**babykiller**__ has logged out evilly_

_**ihealUlikegod**__ has logged off in fury_


	15. Aro's Dead Heart

**Okay don't yell at me. I know that Aro technically has a mate, as it is said in the index of Breaking Dawn, but this is a fan fiction. So deal with it. (JK, love you guys) I just like making the characters do what I want. Next chapter is not as... deep. It has Caius mooning after ME of course. So watch out for it. **

Ch. 15, Aro's Dead heart

_**thechosen1**__ has logged on_

_**estaticemperor**__ has logged on_

_**vampgirl**__ has logged on_

**vampgirl**: Hey Catherine.

**thechosen1**: *sighs* Hey Bella.

**vampgirl**: Whoa, are you okay?

**thechosen1**: *sighs again* Boy trouble.

**thechosen1**: Tyler and I were strong but he dumped me. I'm depressed. *weeps silently* I need some cheering up.

**vampgirl**: *awkwardly* I'd give you some but...

**thechosen1**: ...you're going to Edwards. I know.

**vampgirl**: *feeling guilty* Um. Okay. Bye, Catherine...

_**vampgirl**__ has logged off feeling guilty_

**thechosen1**: Bye I guess.

**thechosen1**: Anyone else here?

**thechosen1**: Hello?

**thechosen1**: Okay. I feel kind of stupid. I'm leaving.

**thechosen1**: Last chance... I'm logging out...

**estaticemperor**: You don't have to go you know.

**thechosen1**: Who are you?

**estaticemperor**: It doesn't really matter. This is the internet!!!!!

**thechosen1**: Can you at least tell me what you do?

**estaticemperor**: *raises self up proudly* I enforce the law!

**thechosen1**: Oh... interesting...?

**estaticemperor**: Can we eat? I think I love you.

**thechosen1**: Okay....

_**thechosen1**__ has logged off wondering who he is_

**estaticemperor**: She is so into me.

_**estaticemperor**__ has logged off in love_


End file.
